Does the opening "pling pling plinggg" of Bette Midler's "The Rose" fill you with existential dread? Do you cringe at the mere whiff of what Phil Collins is spewing "In the Air Tonight"? Have you ever bolted from a restaurant because Celine Dion's cover of "All By Myself" was threatening to drive you over the edge? Well, turn around, bright eyes, because Tom Reynolds is here with I Hate Myself and Want to Die, a laugh-out-loud-'til-you're-sobbing compendium of the world's most hideously depressing pop songs, and a guide to what makes them so heartwrenchingly, earsplittingly sad and bad. With chapters like "I Was a Teenage Car Crash," I'm Trying to Be Profound and Touching but Really Suck at It," "Perfect Storms," and "I Mope, Therefore I Am," Reynolds details the history of melodic misery, from the days of Bobby Darin to the era of Evanescence. Complete with a ranked Countdown of Doom and wonderfully dreary drawings, I Hate Myself and Want to Die is the one book that fans and foes of woeful tunes won't want to live without.